Last year

Last year at this time I knew I was pregnant, but I hadn't taken a test yet. Tomorrow will be 1yr since I found out we would be expecting Allie. It's also my Mother's birthday!

I remember taking a picture of it and sending it to her via text. I simply said, "Happy Birthday!". She was over the moon, and of course she cried!

And now here we are with our little girl who will also be turning 4 months old tomorrow!

It's so crazy to think how far we've come in a years time. There were plenty of tears shed and still a lot of heartache. The tears still come now, and the heartache is still there, but there is now a happiness that wasn't there before.

I watch my kids and I smile. Then I think of Cameron, and I smile again. I so wish he could be here with them, but I know in my heart that he's here with us everyday. Watching over all of us, making sure Aiden and Allie stay safe.

I had Allie in the office today, and on the bookshelf is Cameron's candle - the one we light every year on October 15th. Well tonight her and I were sitting in there, and hers eyes became fixated on that candle. Then, out of nowhere, she just started smiling, laughing, screaming and cooing! She's been cooing and laughing for a while now, but I have never seen her get so excited! I just smiled and told her that was big brother's candle, and she continued on with the laughing and screaming... :)